[ Living in plain sight is how Dick likes it, even if it means he's had assassins come after him and not Nightwing, once or twice.
The ground-level gym is advertised by a bright blue and white neon star on the roof. Dick's living quarters span the entire length of the loft across the building, a few corners creating rooms but largely open space ... and quite messy. The window he leaves open for Jason (because naturally) connects to the lounge area, a sofa decorated in stray, discarded Nightwing costume parts strewn over its armrest and the floor. A coffee table holds an honest-to-god landline, a half-eaten cereal bowl, and actual newspapers emblazoned with information about Blockbuster, the casino mob boss, scattered around some dying plants. Nearby sits an LP player with vinyls leaning on it.
It's almost painfully, unapologetically millennial ... but it's also lived-in and homely. ]
[ Jason's pretty sure this is a fucking terrible idea. he told himself he wouldn't do this, yet here he is, riding to Blüdhaven late Christmas night.
he doesn't expect the gym with neon lights and looks at the address Dick sent him again. Yup, this is the place. maybe he can buzz up, but he sees the window open and hey, why the hell not. he parks his motorcycle out back and scales the side of the building easily, yanking up the window once he gets there and tosses his bike helmet in first before climbing in and landing on his feet.
[ The somewhat retro chaos is broken up by a grey-blue pitbull puppy who comes charging around a corner on the slippery floorboards to bark its head off at the intruder seconds after Jason climbs in, hopping about as if to bite Jason's boots. It's rather tubby, as puppies go. From the other side of the loft comes Dick's voice, calling, ]
Haley! Don't take him out before I get over there!
[ As he hurries around the corner to scoop up his dog, Dick's expression breaks into a warm sunny smile at the sight of Jason, nerves melting away a little. ]
[ Jason isn't faze by the puppy that comes charging at him. ]
Hey you. You little shit, you're cute as fuck.
[Jason kneels down and bops back and forth at those floppy ears, standing up as Dick comes around to greet them and scoop his dog up. Haley. well damn.]
Course I did. Hard to miss with all the neon lights.
Best way to hide in the 'haven, next to something bright, My other apartment's currently riddled in bullet-holes, anyway, it's a long story. Come on in!
[ Dick sets Haley down so she can go back to sniffing and jumping all over Jason, leading him to the kitchen where a couple of beers are waiting for them. ]
Her codename is Bitewing, by the way. Watch your fingers.
[ Puppy love-bites as she teethes, but still.
Dick rattles off chatter to quell any remaining nerves, unable to keep his eyes off Jason for long. The differences between him and Dick's much taller, broader tank of a brother are always a surprise, and he has the fluttery feeling in his gut to help him stay focused on this Jason too. ]
Do you want to stay the night? I mean, it's a long ride back.
Why'd you pick this place anyways? Blüdhaven. Sounds real fucking goth and totally the opposite of Detroit.
[which makes sense. this Dick seems to be the total opposite of a lot of things his Dick is. His universes Dick. the actual guy is not his at all.
More differences as Jason follows into the kitchen and there's a beer waiting for him too. yeah, that would never happen.]
I can take a few little bites. Right, boy?
[Jason scoops up the puppy this time, letting him scramble against his chest and lick him if he wants to. he fucking loves dogs. they're way better than people are.]
Stay the night? Uh... Sure. Yeah sure, I can do that.
[ There's not just beer, there's ... cold pizza! He beings a box out of the fridge for them to help themselves to (Alfred is sighing in his grave). ]
She's a girl, [ with a nod to Haley, ] best heroes I know usually are.
[ Dick takes a seat at the breakfast bar, feeding Haley a piece of ham off his pizza as Jason fusses her. She sniffs the hell out of Jason, fascinated by this new person who needs all the licking. Happy to hear Jason is sticking around, Dick relaxes and reels off an explanation of Blüdhaven being a whaling port back in the day, the old language modernised into a cheesy tourist-trap with the saying of "Get your BLÜD up!" ]
The casinos keep the city running, unfortunately it's the mobs keeping the casinos running, and Tony's Zucco's daughter as mayor keeping them in line, so ... [ He pulls a face. ] Simpler to deal with than Gotham though, most of the time. Nobody really crosses Blockbuster.
[ hey, cold pizza is great. any food with beer is great. Jason's fully used to having nothing, so he'll eat pretty much anything. ]
A girl, huh. Should've known since she likes me so much.
[Jason needs all the licking, and he'll gladly take it while he listens to Dick ramble on about Bludhaven. this Dick definitely talks a hell of a lot more than his own as well- not that he wants to compare. they both know how not great that went before.]
Hold the fuck up. Tony Zucco's daughter is the mayor? Of this play you're living in?
[ Snorting, he smiles as Haley makes nice with Jason. New best friends, right there. ]
That's not even the best part. [ Munching away, he keeps his gaze on the puppy trying to steal Jason's pizza and calmly says, ] She might also be my sister.
[ A humourless laugh barks free, because his life. His life, for real. ]
I know, I'm right there with you. The story her mom gave was that she hooked up with my dad years before my parents got together, she never told him about her kid. I ... don't know if I believe it yet. She was sincere, I guess.
[ But this is Blüdhaven, not Gotham. Being crazy here means little unless you're affluent and Dick isn't sure the mayor's mother doesn't just want to keep her daughter out of Nightwing's way. Then again, Dick doesn't want to accuse a mother of lying so earnestly when she seems like a nice person. What a mess. ]
It's reason enough to stay here, even without the rest of ... the stuff that happened.
Sincere? Sounds like a lying crock of shit. Did she get a test done? You can't just believe people when they sound sincere. You know that, right? Please tell me you're not just going along with the whole nice thing.
[you're talking to Jason Todd here. trust no one to the max. even with a test he'd be suspicious, but this sounds like absolute bullshit.]
Wouldn't it be better if you were closer to the shit you knew? The people you know? Where's Kory and Gar and Rachel?
[ He pulls a face when asked if he's not just going to trust his so-called sister. Trouble is, Dick wants some shade of his old family back and trusting people is what he does. Initially.
Dick sidesteps the question about being better off around people he knows. ]
Kori's, uhhh, doing her own thing last I saw her. I assume the Titans are at the tower in San Francisco.
[ yeah, how has that whole trusting thing been working out for Dick? maybe not so great, it seems. ]
The Titans? And you weren't with them...? Wait... no. Don't tell me. Don't. This is just. A whole fucking lot. Nothing's the same and we're just gonna drive each other crazy with this shit.
I'm not with the Titans because they're an adult team of their own now, not because anything bad happened. Kori's rediscovering herself ... with a weird boyfriend, but that's whatever.
[ Not getting into that! He pets Haley who has settled on Jason for a nap. ]
Think of this universe as a timelapse half a decade ahead of your own. Your friends are fine, Jay, they just grew up a bit.
[is what he settled on after all of that, because... yeah, it's still fucking weird. ]
I barely know them. Dick... the one from my universe- didn't exactly want me to meet 'em, I don't think. I barely know him either... not for lack of trying. I mean, I think at this point I know more about you then I know about him.
[ It might seem odd to Jason that Dick breathes a sad laugh at that, palming his own face as he mutters, god, okay. When he looks at him again it's with an apology in blue eyes. ]
I was an asshole to Jason, here. I hated that Bruce replaced me so fast with what I saw as a cocky little brat, and I actively pushed him out of the Titans. It was because of me that he was alienated. It was my fault when he went away because ... because I can understand what it's like, not being able to tell Bruce things. I get that.
[ The guilt will never die, weighing down his shoulders where he slumps. ]
I never wanted to be someone he could reach out to, so I made it a reality. I had no right to do that ... I should have always been an option for him to talk to.
[ His gaze becomes more present, locking onto Jason before him. Robin, not Red Hood, and that other Grayson is going to make him feel all alone too. Fuck. ]
I'm sorry that I screw us up in every reality, Jay. I'm so sorry.
[ cocky little brat... yeah that sounds exactly like something his Dick would be thinking. never saying out loud, of course, because Dick would only look at him that way, but Jason's pretty sure he could tell. even if he did save Dick's life like twice now?
what this Dick tells him seems like even further off than that, though. Jason figured they'd always come back together again for some reason or another, because as much as Dick wanted to send him away, of course they'd still work together... and Jason's been looking forward to it.
but what if this Dick is just an example of what his own will do to him eventually? this is why he isn't sure if he even wants to hear any of this. or... maybe it's for the best so he doesn't have to put himself through the same pain and heartache. it still hurts to hear that this Dick did all that to his Jason. would have done it to him. ]
Is that why he went away? Did things get so bad that he went away because of that?
[ Hoo, boy. It's like dancing on glass, avoiding anything about the Joker. It's one of the reasons he doesn't want to bring up what the Joker did to him, it would be like putting himself in the place of Jason's ... future grief? No. No mentioning how Joker got into Dick's head. No mindfuck, no crowbars, he's keeping all of that out of sight to protect him. ]
He went away because he found out something and, from the way he talked about it later, it sounded a lot like he felt alone. Bruce was being Bruce, when he gets silent and disapproving, and I ...
I know I should have been there for him.
[ Hanging his head, he reaches out to curl his fingers around Haley's soft ears, gentle and sad. ]
We didn't fight all the time, there were good moments too. He was Little Wing.
... Everyone in the family paid a lot more attention to each other, after he left. Checking-in became a regular thing.
[ this is why Jason didn't want to talk about this stuff anymore. it gets too convoluted, too mixed up in what has happened, what could happen. Jason's already second guessing himself every step of the way, knowing that one wrong move and he's bound to fuck it all up.
and now he wonders... did he already fuck it up with his Dick? does Dick already think too badly of him to ever turn things around? he was so angry when Jason took out those cops. he looked at him with such disgust... maybe he doesn't want him around at all.
he tries to keep his emotions in check, which always feels like such a goddamn hard thing to do- but all of this information, it makes him feel close to spilling over. ]
Fuck.... fuck. What if I already messed things up? What if he can't stand me? I tried to help but he didn't see it that way. What if I fuck it up with Bruce?
[ He slides forward off his stool to set Haley on the floor where she trots off to her bed, placing his hands on Jason's shoulders to give him a steadying squeeze. ]
It turns out okay, I promise. Everything sounds so dark, I know. Let me help with that.
[ Digging around in his back-pocket for the cellphone Babs forced on him, he opens up an encoded file ... and in it are pictures. Lots of people Jason wouldn't know but there's a snapshot of Nightwing and another guy on a rooftop, the latter pulling an unimpressed face as Dick grins into the camera; big guy, brown jacket, red bat on his armour. The next photo is the entire group of four Robins in regular clothes at a diner with platefuls of burgers and Joker fries, a flustered Bruce in a suit at the back of the booth caught mid-breakup of an argument between Jason and Damian over a toy while Dick and Tim eyeball the camera.
Watching him, he offers the phone to Jason if he wants to look. ]
[ the hand on his shoulder is steadying, but maybe not calming enough when it comes to this jumble in his head. maybe this won't happen in his universe. maybe it'll be different. deep in his heart though, Jason can already feel it. it sounds exactly like something that would happen to him because it's played out in his head already in so many different ways.
it's everything he fears.
he takes the phone from Dick, but he can already feel his vision blurring before he can even look at the photos and he quickly, angrily wipes at his eyes as he starts scrolling.
come home.]
But I never left. I never wanted to leave. I don't want to fucking leave!
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he teaches me how to cook when Bruce. never mind.
come see you? now?
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sure, why not? it's not a mansion but you might still like it ;)
[ Dick sends him the address of his Blüdhaven home, just like that. ]
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once Dick's address comes through, Jason doesn't give it a second thought.]
yeah alright. i'll be there.
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[ Living in plain sight is how Dick likes it, even if it means he's had assassins come after him and not Nightwing, once or twice.
The ground-level gym is advertised by a bright blue and white neon star on the roof. Dick's living quarters span the entire length of the loft across the building, a few corners creating rooms but largely open space ... and quite messy. The window he leaves open for Jason (because naturally) connects to the lounge area, a sofa decorated in stray, discarded Nightwing costume parts strewn over its armrest
and the floor. A coffee table holds an honest-to-god landline, a half-eaten cereal bowl, and actual newspapers emblazoned with information about Blockbuster, the casino mob boss, scattered around some dying plants. Nearby sits an LP player with vinyls leaning on it.It's almost painfully, unapologetically millennial ... but it's also lived-in and homely. ]
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he doesn't expect the gym with neon lights and looks at the address Dick sent him again. Yup, this is the place. maybe he can buzz up, but he sees the window open and hey, why the hell not. he parks his motorcycle out back and scales the side of the building easily, yanking up the window once he gets there and tosses his bike helmet in first before climbing in and landing on his feet.
well. Dick did say to let himself in. ]
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Haley! Don't take him out before I get over there!
[ As he hurries around the corner to scoop up his dog, Dick's expression breaks into a warm sunny smile at the sight of Jason, nerves melting away a little. ]
Hi! You found us okay, then.
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Hey you. You little shit, you're cute as fuck.
[Jason kneels down and bops back and forth at those floppy ears, standing up as Dick comes around to greet them and scoop his dog up. Haley. well damn.]
Course I did. Hard to miss with all the neon lights.
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[ Dick sets Haley down so she can go back to sniffing and jumping all over Jason, leading him to the kitchen where a couple of beers are waiting for them. ]
Her codename is Bitewing, by the way. Watch your fingers.
[ Puppy love-bites as she teethes, but still.
Dick rattles off chatter to quell any remaining nerves, unable to keep his eyes off Jason for long. The differences between him and Dick's much taller, broader tank of a brother are always a surprise, and he has the fluttery feeling in his gut to help him stay focused on this Jason too. ]
Do you want to stay the night? I mean, it's a long ride back.
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[which makes sense. this Dick seems to be the total opposite of a lot of things his Dick is. His universes Dick. the actual guy is not his at all.
More differences as Jason follows into the kitchen and there's a beer waiting for him too. yeah, that would never happen.]
I can take a few little bites. Right, boy?
[Jason scoops up the puppy this time, letting him scramble against his chest and lick him if he wants to. he fucking loves dogs. they're way better than people are.]
Stay the night? Uh... Sure. Yeah sure, I can do that.
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She's a girl, [ with a nod to Haley, ] best heroes I know usually are.
[ Dick takes a seat at the breakfast bar, feeding Haley a piece of ham off his pizza as Jason fusses her. She sniffs the hell out of Jason, fascinated by this new person who needs all the licking. Happy to hear Jason is sticking around, Dick relaxes and reels off an explanation of Blüdhaven being a whaling port back in the day, the old language modernised into a cheesy tourist-trap with the saying of "Get your BLÜD up!" ]
The casinos keep the city running, unfortunately it's the mobs keeping the casinos running, and Tony's Zucco's daughter as mayor keeping them in line, so ... [ He pulls a face. ] Simpler to deal with than Gotham though, most of the time. Nobody really crosses Blockbuster.
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A girl, huh. Should've known since she likes me so much.
[Jason needs all the licking, and he'll gladly take it while he listens to Dick ramble on about Bludhaven. this Dick definitely talks a hell of a lot more than his own as well- not that he wants to compare. they both know how not great that went before.]
Hold the fuck up. Tony Zucco's daughter is the mayor? Of this play you're living in?
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That's not even the best part. [ Munching away, he keeps his gaze on the puppy trying to steal Jason's pizza and calmly says, ] She might also be my sister.
[ A humourless laugh barks free, because his life. His life, for real. ]
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What the fuck?
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[ But this is Blüdhaven, not Gotham. Being crazy here means little unless you're affluent and Dick isn't sure the mayor's mother doesn't just want to keep her daughter out of Nightwing's way. Then again, Dick doesn't want to accuse a mother of lying so earnestly when she seems like a nice person. What a mess. ]
It's reason enough to stay here, even without the rest of ... the stuff that happened.
[ Gesturing to his head with his beer. ]
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[you're talking to Jason Todd here. trust no one to the max. even with a test he'd be suspicious, but this sounds like absolute bullshit.]
Wouldn't it be better if you were closer to the shit you knew? The people you know? Where's Kory and Gar and Rachel?
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Dick sidesteps the question about being better off around people he knows. ]
Kori's, uhhh, doing her own thing last I saw her. I assume the Titans are at the tower in San Francisco.
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The Titans? And you weren't with them...? Wait... no. Don't tell me. Don't. This is just. A whole fucking lot. Nothing's the same and we're just gonna drive each other crazy with this shit.
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[ Not getting into that! He pets Haley who has settled on Jason for a nap. ]
Think of this universe as a timelapse half a decade ahead of your own. Your friends are fine, Jay, they just grew up a bit.
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[is what he settled on after all of that, because... yeah, it's still fucking weird. ]
I barely know them. Dick... the one from my universe- didn't exactly want me to meet 'em, I don't think. I barely know him either... not for lack of trying. I mean, I think at this point I know more about you then I know about him.
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I was an asshole to Jason, here. I hated that Bruce replaced me so fast with what I saw as a cocky little brat, and I actively pushed him out of the Titans. It was because of me that he was alienated. It was my fault when he went away because ... because I can understand what it's like, not being able to tell Bruce things. I get that.
[ The guilt will never die, weighing down his shoulders where he slumps. ]
I never wanted to be someone he could reach out to, so I made it a reality. I had no right to do that ... I should have always been an option for him to talk to.
[ His gaze becomes more present, locking onto Jason before him. Robin, not Red Hood, and that other Grayson is going to make him feel all alone too. Fuck. ]
I'm sorry that I screw us up in every reality, Jay. I'm so sorry.
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what this Dick tells him seems like even further off than that, though. Jason figured they'd always come back together again for some reason or another, because as much as Dick wanted to send him away, of course they'd still work together... and Jason's been looking forward to it.
but what if this Dick is just an example of what his own will do to him eventually? this is why he isn't sure if he even wants to hear any of this. or... maybe it's for the best so he doesn't have to put himself through the same pain and heartache. it still hurts to hear that this Dick did all that to his Jason. would have done it to him. ]
Is that why he went away? Did things get so bad that he went away because of that?
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He went away because he found out something and, from the way he talked about it later, it sounded a lot like he felt alone. Bruce was being Bruce, when he gets silent and disapproving, and I ...
I know I should have been there for him.
[ Hanging his head, he reaches out to curl his fingers around Haley's soft ears, gentle and sad. ]
We didn't fight all the time, there were good moments too. He was Little Wing.
... Everyone in the family paid a lot more attention to each other, after he left. Checking-in became a regular thing.
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and now he wonders... did he already fuck it up with his Dick? does Dick already think too badly of him to ever turn things around? he was so angry when Jason took out those cops. he looked at him with such disgust... maybe he doesn't want him around at all.
he tries to keep his emotions in check, which always feels like such a goddamn hard thing to do- but all of this information, it makes him feel close to spilling over. ]
Fuck.... fuck. What if I already messed things up? What if he can't stand me? I tried to help but he didn't see it that way. What if I fuck it up with Bruce?
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[ He slides forward off his stool to set Haley on the floor where she trots off to her bed, placing his hands on Jason's shoulders to give him a steadying squeeze. ]
It turns out okay, I promise. Everything sounds so dark, I know. Let me help with that.
[ Digging around in his back-pocket for the cellphone Babs forced on him, he opens up an encoded file ... and in it are pictures. Lots of people Jason wouldn't know but there's a snapshot of Nightwing and another guy on a rooftop, the latter pulling an unimpressed face as Dick grins into the camera; big guy, brown jacket, red bat on his armour. The next photo is the entire group of four Robins in regular clothes at a diner with platefuls of burgers and Joker fries, a flustered Bruce in a suit at the back of the booth caught mid-breakup of an argument between Jason and Damian over a toy while Dick and Tim eyeball the camera.
Watching him, he offers the phone to Jason if he wants to look. ]
... See? You'll come home too.
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it's everything he fears.
he takes the phone from Dick, but he can already feel his vision blurring before he can even look at the photos and he quickly, angrily wipes at his eyes as he starts scrolling.
come home.]
But I never left. I never wanted to leave. I don't want to fucking leave!
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